soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

(via lifelastingsmiles)

latulas:

U WNANA FUKCINGN GO?? ????? grab an icecream together or something because u are attractive

(Source: toukos, via lifelastingsmiles)

(Source: nothinglikeinthemovies, via seoulsister)

meladoodle:

the final step in this recipe didn’t say “enjoy!” so i threw my food in the trash

(Source: meladoodle, via icytide)

ralndrops:

I CANT BREATHE

(via icytide)

oomshi:

i need a paid break from life

(via fake-mermaid)

howunpleasant:

friday at school i heard some girl in the hall way scream “FOR THE LAST TIME BITCH IM LESBIAN IM NOT TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND HE SMELLS LIKE KETCHUP ANYWAYS”

(Source: grossmidousuji, via lifelastingsmiles)

bigbeautifulandproud:

whywhitefriendswhy:

elusivelyshani:

I’m not even a man but I’m a black woman and I’ve experienced this on the subway, elevators, etc. And I ALWAYS want to do that “boo!” Part.

OMG

😂

(Source: lexii5297, via lifelastingsmiles)

(Source: thebeautyofwordsblog.com, via heyimayla)

(Source: bradbury-charlie, via icytide)